The Beginner's Guide to Dating (Science Style)

I am convinced that my science professors just want me to get married. And they think that I am not capable of succeeding in that department without their advice and guidance. Out of the goodness of their hearts, then, they impart to me wonderful insights into how I can have a successful dating life. Over my year and a half at BYU, I have received great dating advice from chemistry, biology, and physics professors. My history, English, and other non-science professors, however, have not given me such fantastics dating knowledge. (With the possible exception of mission prep, in which dating counts on our grade . . .) I guess all the other disciplines outside of science trust that their students can successfully handle their dating lives. But those science nerds - wow, they sure need help. Here is what I have gleaned from my scientific dating education thus far:

General Dating Advice

  • Don't ask your date her weight - just estimate it when you're figuring out the total weight of you two and your car.
  • Drop big words, such as xerothanmonus.
  • Study your chemistry in depth so that you can impress your date with your knowledge thereof.
  • Frequently bring up and discuss esoteric scientific concepts. 


Great Date Ideas

  • Drive past the bell tower while it is playing and observe the Doppler effect.
  • Put your car in neutral on the freeway to determine resistance from air and friction.
  • Stick pieces of tape to the table and pull them off to observe their charged properties. (But make sure you fold over part of the tape as a "handle" to facilitate its removal from the table.)
  • Light a light bulb using only a single wire and a battery.
  • Time how long it takes you to walk ten yards.
  • Pick up little pieces of paper with a comb. It even works with other small objects as long as they're not too heavy! 


Just follow this great advice, and - regardless of your major - you can one day be married like my science professors. Maybe I should try it . . .

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