Possibly Insightful Ramblings

“Okay, I need you to take two steps back to your left.” I glanced over my shoulder. My already-pounding heart began a consistent presto beat inside my chest . The only way to go left was to move closer to the edge of the 100-foot cliff. And I sure did not want to lessen the distance between me and certain death. I reluctantly took two small steps. “Is that okay?” “Good. Now cinch up the rope. Now take another step to the left.” Cue cardiac prestissimo. Everything in my body was screaming at me to step away from the edge—to clamber back up to safety, back to my little perch on the rocks above me where I could enjoy the beautiful scenery and the gentle breeze through the canyon. I was safe there. Close enough to see the beauties of nature, but far enough away to not take a 100-foot tumble. If I’d learned anything in my 24 years of life, I knew that cliffs were to be avoided, not approached. And yet I was approaching this cliff, slowly backing up to a sheer drop into...

Remember this? And this? And who could ever forget this?  Or this?  Yep. Sometimes in life you just have to be a little bit nostalgic. Just for a moment. I think today is one of those days. One year ago today, I took my last look out across the Dnepr river and boarded a plane that would take me away from my beloved second homeland. As I watched my river and city slip underneath the plane's wing out of my reach, I sensed that I had likewise left my heart down there--the heart I had given to the Lord and to the people of Ukraine. Those 18 months changed me. They changed the course of my life. They changed eternity. And I will forever be grateful to God for giving them to me. There is no way I can adequately describe my mission in a few paragraphs here on my blog without seeming trite. But suffice it to say that my mission--the Russian language, Ukrainian culture, my companions and other missionaries, the church members, my friends, the people I ...

Anybody who knows me is well aware of how much I love Ukraine. Ukraine will always be my second home. She will forever have my heart and my loyalty. So I guess, given that love and the current political situation in Eastern Europe, I shouldn't be too surprised when people ask me how I could've gone to Russia this summer--isn't that somehow betraying my loyalty to Ukraine? And yet, that question does surprise me. Because I see in it the implication of the entire Russian nation in causing the unrest in Ukraine--the entire population as being somehow antagonistic to Ukraine. And, having now lived in Russia, that is a concept completely foreign and unfathomable to me. Because Russians are wonderful people! I know them. I have seen their hearts. My coworkers in Moscow are not responsible for my Crimean friends now claiming citizenship in the Russian Federation. My Russian friends didn't kindle unrest in cities in eastern Ukraine. The Russia I know is kind. It is peaceful. It...

In the heart of St. Petersburg you will find one of my favorite buildings in the entire world--the Church of the Savior on Spilled blood. The architecture and design of the building itself is stunning, with its spires and high ceilings and mosaics. And the history of the church is also inspiring. It was commissioned by Tsar Alexander III in memory of his father, Tsar Alexander II who had been killed on that location by a terrorist organization subsequent to his freeing of the serfs. After 24 years of construction, the church was completed in 1907. And now, after a troubled history during the Soviet era, the cathedral has been restored and is open to the public. Pictures of the inside can't nearly do justice to the beauty and elegance of the temple. But the walls and ceilings are completely covered in beautiful mosaics portraying Bible stories, saints, and other images from the Orthodox tradition. It's breathtaking.  As I stood in this vast cathedral that mor...

This past Monday--just two weeks shy of a year from when I finished my mission--I once again flew from Eastern Europe to America. I'd never really seen that coming. I'd never expected in my life to go to Eastern Europe. Let alone twice. But our God has a perfect plan for us. He knows exactly what we need even when we can scarcely begin to fathom it. And when He called me to serve a mission in Dnepropetrovsk, Ukraine, He changed my life forever. And He changed it again when He told me that I needed to study abroad in Moscow this summer. And because of that I once again found myself on a Utah-bound airplane, feeling my heart break a little as I left behind the Russian-speaking world. I left my heart there in Russia, with the orphans to whom I taught English. I left it there with the youth in my stake who became my dear friends. I left it on Red Square and in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior. I left it along the banks of the Moscow River where I watched the sun set. I left it ...

Once upon a time I was in Russia. And was doing a lot of really cool things. And thus didn't write about the really cool things on my blog. So for anybody who's interested, here is a crash-course summary of my past three or four weeks. Went camping in New Jerusalem (I kid you not--that is what the village is called). . .  . . . with some awesome friends from my stake. Went to St. Petersburg. And Vyborg. And Veliky Novgorod. And learned a lot at all those places. Went to a YSA conference with youth from Moscow, St. Petersburg, and Rostov. Went on a Russian river boat cruise with Tierre and the orphans we teach.  That was about as atypical as my posts get--all travel-log and no philosophizing. But you know. It happens sometimes when one gets busy. These events were just too awesome to be excluded from documentation by the means of blog. And the task of writing up the novel of thoughts that could be gleaned from each event was a little too time-consuming...

"If you were in my place, what would you ask from the genie?" I smiled as I watched little Andrei (all names have been changed) earnestly converse with one of the orphanage employees. He had just been reading about genies on the internet and was convinced that he had learned how to call one up. In preparation for this grand event, he was exploring the various options for his three wishes. "Well, first of all, that all of the sick children will get better," Olya replied, glancing around at some of the other orphans surrounding us. Andrei nodded soberly. "That's important." I thought with tenderness about these sick children I've come to love. What would it mean for them to be healed? What would it be like if Kostya could feed himself, instead of relying on one of his buddies to help him? What would it mean to Vanya if he could finally be the height of a normal ten-year-old? And for little Mitya and Nina to not have holes in their necks anymo...