The motherhood market

 Motherhood is like a giant market.

And the seller always drives a hard bargain.

 

“I’d like to buy a 4-and-a-half-minute shower, please.”

“That will be four tins of Altoids spilled on the floor

And half your house soaked with water.”

 

“Can I clean up the breakfast dishes?”

“Yes. That will be one fresh mandarin,

Deliberately smashed into the white carpet.”

 

“What about a Zoom work meeting?”

“Yep. Just two instances of turned off internet

And two bites for little brother.”

 

“Can I get a 60-second trip to the bathroom?”

“Sure. That will cost the older toddler

Making the younger scream.”

 

“I’m going to take the laundry out of the dryer.”

“That costs one toddler running down the stairs

With three raw eggs in his hands.”

 

“I’d like to buy an afternoon walk.”

“Great choice. That will just cost two instances

Of toddler running away,

Four fits, and a couple of skinned knees.”

 

“I’m going to clean up a mess.”

“Yes. That will cost just one 6 oz jar of garlic,

Entirely consumed by the toddler,

And 48 hours of living with the stench.”

 

“I’d like to buy a well-deserved break

Of sitting on the couch while the boys watch cartoons.”

“Definitely. That will just be two units

Of toddlers knocking the TV down on their heads,

With the second instance breaking the TV.”

 

“I’d like to purchase an opportunity to make dinner.”

“Sure. That will be 40 minutes of toddlers

Clinging to your legs and screaming

And climbing on the fridge and dishwasher.”

 

“Can I buy some snuggles?”

“From the younger, yes.

The older’s are currently out of stock.”

 

“Can I buy some peace and quiet?”

“There’s a limited amount.

A few hours will cost you

Thirteen bedtime stories

Four drinks of water,

Three fits,

And seven ounces of patience.”

 

It must be those last two items

That make this sellers’ market sustainable.