Christmas Eve thoughts on God's promises

Before the foundation of the world, God made a promise to mankind that would allow them to live, to change, to find comfort and purpose in suffering, and to ultimately return to God: He promised to send His Son. Prophets and sages spent millennia prophesying of Him, rejoicing in the far-off day of His coming. They believed God when He told them a baby would be born in some future day—a baby that would save them. These prophets and saints clung to that promise, even though they could not see the fulfillment of that hope. They trusted God’s promises.

And trusting God’s promises is something I’ve been thinking a lot about recently.

A couple months ago, a chilly fall morning found me walking to work, reflecting on my life. Things were not going as I’d planned. A recent break-up had left me a bit disenchanted with life, and I felt that I was powerless to stop my dreams and plans from falling through.  In particular, those worries that so often consume the thoughts of single women wanting to start a family were haunting me, and I wondered if I would ever have the opportunity that so many of my friends were enjoying of getting married and having children. As I walked down that vacant street, I expressed these concerns to God. In answer, the words of a song that has meant a lot to me over the past several months came to mind: “Hold on to every promise God has made to us” (you should maybe go watch the music video of Glorious Unfolding right now).Those words hit me in that moment, and I turned them over in my mind. I pondered the promises the Lord has made to me, particularly in connection with one day having my own family. Mentally, I understood that I could and needed to trust my God and His timing for my embarking on that journey. But emotionally I still felt very broken and unsure and hopeless.

I arrived at work and began my Skype call with the senior missionary I would be teaching that day. Since it was my turn to share a spiritual thought, I discussed the ideas I’d had on the way over about God’s promises. Even as I testified to her, however, that God keeps his promises, my heart continued to ache with the unsurety of when God would answer my prayers. I don’t know if my missionary that morning sensed my fear and despair, but she followed up on my story with one of her own. And that story has become a battle cry for me—a clarion call to cling to the Lord’s promises, no matter how long it takes.

A bit over three years ago now, Brother and Sister Johnson (names have been changed) received a mission call to Germany. They were thrilled, as this would be the fulfillment of a long-time dream. Brother Johnson had served in Germany as a young elder and had grown to love the people and culture. He had faithfully maintained his ability to speak German so that when the time came, he would be able to return there with his wife and immediately begin serving. Before they entered the Missionary Training Center, however, Sister Johnson was diagnosed with cancer. Their preparations to leave the country came to an unexpected halt. Dreams of airplanes and missionary tags melted into doctor visits and chemotherapy treatments. Joyful anticipation was now replaced with pain and disappointment.

During one particularly difficult episode early on in her treatment, Sister Johnson received a priesthood blessing. In that blessing, she was not only promised that she and her husband would be able to serve a mission, but was even told specifically to which mission they would be called. I picture the tiny frame of this woman lying on hospital sheets wondering how such a promise could even be uttered, let alone fulfilled. I imagine that she, like Sarah in the Old Testament, could have laughed at that moment at the Lord’s promise. She could have wondered how her cancer-ridden body would ever be able to withstand the rigors of a full-time mission. Yet despite the improbability of it, she chose to cling to this promise God had made to her. She went forward with her treatments day in and day out. Whenever people asked her if she and her husband would go on their mission, she always said yes, allowing her trust in God crowd out the pain in her body and doubts in her mind.

Except for once. On one difficult day where there seemed to be no path and no purpose, she replied to that inquiry from a well-meaning friend that she and her husband would not be serving a mission. She related that instance of doubt to me somewhat sheepishly, quickly adding that she repented of that doubt. Yet as she described that moment of weakness, I saw myself. I saw the instances I have begun to doubt the veracity of the promises God has made to me—those moments of exhaustion and hopelessness. We all have them. And it’s what we do with and after those moments that determines our course and our character. I admire Sister Johnson for putting that doubt behind her and holding on to the Lord’s promises when everything else seemed to be screaming that it was illogical to believe. And not only did she hold on, but she flourished. She used that time on chemotherapy to learn German. In the three years of cancer treatment, she became fluent in German. By the time I taught her at the MTC, she spoke the language better than I did after my years of high school and university study. I imagine what incredible faith that must have taken, not just to endure each day of pain, but to exercise faith to study a language it seemed doubtful she would ever use.  But God kept His promise to her. And she needed the German that she so diligently studied. She is now in Germany, cancer-free and serving the mission God promised to her and her husband.

One night, as I was sharing this story with a couple roommates, discussing with them what it means for us (in our single, wanting-to-get-married-and-have-a-family condition), one of them posed the question, “So what does learning German while on chemotherapy look like (in your life)?” How can we grow while we are waiting for the Lord to fulfill His promises?

And I think that’s a question worth asking over and over again at each new stage of waiting on the Lord. Sometimes answers come immediately, but much more often God asks us to slow down, to learn, to grow, to continue to pray and search before change and answers come into our lives. I know the time I’ve spent in my life waiting for God’s promises to be fulfilled has been precious. It has been painful. But from that pain, I have learned empathy. I have learned patience. I have developed skills and talents I would not have developed if I had immediately received the answers I wanted. The waiting was never a mistake, but a blessing.

The righteous saints who were living in America just prior to the Savior’s birth likewise experienced this refinement through waiting (see the account in 3 Nephi 1 in the Book of Mormon). At that time, those fighting against the Christians had issued a decree, stating that those who believed in the prophecies of a Messiah would be put to death on a certain day if the foretold signs of His coming were not fulfilled. I’ve never had my life threatened because of my faith, but I can only imagine with what fear and trembling those good saints prayed for God to keep His promises. I’m sure they believed the prophet who had told them Christ would come. Yet in the actual day-to-day living, when faith came under fire, I’m sure that more than once, a faithful disciple of Christ turned heavenward to ask if the promise could and still would be fulfilled. We have the record of the prophet Nephi one day approaching the Lord in fervent prayer. As he pours out his soul to God, he receives the glorious, comforting assurance that the Savior is coming that very night to fulfill the promise that He made to His people. Not only would He be saving them from imminent death at the hands of their enemies, but would also come to redeem all mankind from sin and death.

But we don’t have a record of how many prayers Nephi uttered previously, crying to God in the depths of agony, begging the Lord to redeem his people from the threat of death which hung over them. How many sleepless nights did Nephi spend pleading not only for his own life but for the lives of those over whom he was called to preside? How many tears were shed by mothers and fathers imploring the Lord to spare the lives of their children? The scriptural record is strikingly silent on this subject. But that time in between the uttering of the decree and the Lord’s reassurance to Nephi must have been a dark period. A time of refinement. Of introspection. A time of testing the strength of one’s own testimony and beliefs.  This likely caused some to waver, to leave the faith they had once held dear. In fact, some “began to be very sorrowful, lest by any means those things which had been spoken might not come to pass.” Others, after a period of doubt, may have grown stronger because of it. Perhaps some grew angry with their enemies and had to choose between revenge and forgiveness. But whatever individual differences they had in their process of waiting, the scriptures indicate that “they did watch steadfastly for” the promises to be fulfilled. And their faith was rewarded in the most glorious way possible. The sign was given of the birth of the Savior. God had fulfilled the promise he had made to prophets millennia before.

I wish we knew more about that period of fearful, faithful waiting for those Nephite saints. Because that’s where all of us are right now—waiting for the fulfillment of promises we have received from the Lord’s hand. Some of us have been promised a mission. Others marriage and family. Others the return of a child from a period of rebellion. Some are waiting for the promised healing after the loss of a loved one. Some are waiting for direction and guidance in life. And we have all been promised eternal life if we live righteously. What we do during this time of waiting is critical. Waiting is pain. It is growth. It is change. It is a time to reflect on our relationship with Deity. It is the refinement of our faith.

There is wisdom in the waiting.

And at the end of the waiting, if we have been faithful, not only will we receive the promised blessings, but we will have become stronger.

Whether we undergo literal or figurative chemotherapy or the threat of destruction by our enemies while we are waiting for the fulfillment of God’s promises, there is hope. There is hope because God sent His Son more than 2000 years ago to redeem us, to love us, to heal us. And because He kept that promise, He can and will keep every other promise He has made.