The Gift of His Calling
Two years ago today, I received the best and most life-changing letter that has ever entered my hands. I'll never forget those feelings I had as I sat in my living room surrounded by family and friends and broke the seal on that white envelope. Those were moments of pure happiness. I've learned a few things since that day. For one thing, I sound much less American now when I say "Dnepropetrovsk" than that first valiant attempt. But one of the sweetest lessons I learned on and after my mission was what great a gift that was packaged up in that white envelope.
While serving a mission was the hardest thing I'd done up to that point, each day taught me what a great gift it was to be a servant of the Lord. I keenly felt the responsibility and the power of the mantle of missionary as I labored in the Lord's vineyard. I relished that calling. I felt much like Mormon said to his brethren: "it is by the grace of God the Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ . . . because of the gift of his calling unto me, that I am permitted to speak unto you at this time." I felt that as I stopped people on the streets in Simferopol and a half dozen other Ukrainian cities. I felt it as I testified on buses, trains, and planes. Underlying the soreness of my feet and the ache of my heart for those who would not accept Christ was a profound joy. A deep gratitude that my God had allowed me to serve Him as a missionary. I prized that gift.
As my remaining missionary days began to dwindle, however, a deep sadness overcame me as I realized that I was soon going to have to relinquish the mantle I loved to bear. I didn't want to let go of the gift that had come to mean everything to me. I didn't want to let go of my opportunity to represent the Savior full-time. I didn't want to leave the people I had learned to love. It was during this time that Mormon's words again spoke to me, but telling me something different--it is only by God's will that I had been permitted to serve for those 18 months, and I could not complain when the duration of the gift had come to an end. Callings end. We are released. We are expected to move on. Without that gift.
I keenly felt the absence of that gift when I returned home. A couple nights after I'd removed my badge, I sat with my family at a Broadway concert by one of my favorite musicians. But despite my love of Broadway, my mind was elsewhere. In that darkened auditorium, I poured out my soul to God, pleading for Him to bless and take care of my beloved friends whom I had left in Ukraine. I felt powerless to help them any longer, and I implored the Lord to take care of them. He gently reminded me that His children had always been in His hands, and still remained there even though my opportunity to be His hands in Ukraine had come to an end. I still felt slightly lost. But comforted, knowing that those I had left would be fine without me.
And I came to see that whenever we must relinquish one gift, the Lord is quick to bestow another. Not too long after my concert experience, I realized that not only had I been called to go on a mission, but I had been called to return from that very mission. My call had been extended for 18 months, and at the conclusion of it, God Himself had called me to return home. Not to return to a nothingness. Not to be downgraded and lose my ability to serve His children. But to magnify and fill other callings in the service of the Lord. Because God loves his missionaries, He gives them the gift of returning home. He gives them the gift to apply what they have learned in their families, with their friends, in the education, and in their work. And He gives them opportunities to serve in the church.
So as much as I miss that gift of preaching the gospel in my beloved Ukraine, I am grateful for the gift of being called back home. God is the perfect Giver of gifts. And we can take comfort knowing that when He extends any call, we are laboring exactly where the God of heaven needs us to be. There are few greater gifts than that.
While serving a mission was the hardest thing I'd done up to that point, each day taught me what a great gift it was to be a servant of the Lord. I keenly felt the responsibility and the power of the mantle of missionary as I labored in the Lord's vineyard. I relished that calling. I felt much like Mormon said to his brethren: "it is by the grace of God the Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ . . . because of the gift of his calling unto me, that I am permitted to speak unto you at this time." I felt that as I stopped people on the streets in Simferopol and a half dozen other Ukrainian cities. I felt it as I testified on buses, trains, and planes. Underlying the soreness of my feet and the ache of my heart for those who would not accept Christ was a profound joy. A deep gratitude that my God had allowed me to serve Him as a missionary. I prized that gift.
As my remaining missionary days began to dwindle, however, a deep sadness overcame me as I realized that I was soon going to have to relinquish the mantle I loved to bear. I didn't want to let go of the gift that had come to mean everything to me. I didn't want to let go of my opportunity to represent the Savior full-time. I didn't want to leave the people I had learned to love. It was during this time that Mormon's words again spoke to me, but telling me something different--it is only by God's will that I had been permitted to serve for those 18 months, and I could not complain when the duration of the gift had come to an end. Callings end. We are released. We are expected to move on. Without that gift.
I keenly felt the absence of that gift when I returned home. A couple nights after I'd removed my badge, I sat with my family at a Broadway concert by one of my favorite musicians. But despite my love of Broadway, my mind was elsewhere. In that darkened auditorium, I poured out my soul to God, pleading for Him to bless and take care of my beloved friends whom I had left in Ukraine. I felt powerless to help them any longer, and I implored the Lord to take care of them. He gently reminded me that His children had always been in His hands, and still remained there even though my opportunity to be His hands in Ukraine had come to an end. I still felt slightly lost. But comforted, knowing that those I had left would be fine without me.
And I came to see that whenever we must relinquish one gift, the Lord is quick to bestow another. Not too long after my concert experience, I realized that not only had I been called to go on a mission, but I had been called to return from that very mission. My call had been extended for 18 months, and at the conclusion of it, God Himself had called me to return home. Not to return to a nothingness. Not to be downgraded and lose my ability to serve His children. But to magnify and fill other callings in the service of the Lord. Because God loves his missionaries, He gives them the gift of returning home. He gives them the gift to apply what they have learned in their families, with their friends, in the education, and in their work. And He gives them opportunities to serve in the church.
So as much as I miss that gift of preaching the gospel in my beloved Ukraine, I am grateful for the gift of being called back home. God is the perfect Giver of gifts. And we can take comfort knowing that when He extends any call, we are laboring exactly where the God of heaven needs us to be. There are few greater gifts than that.
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